It was a beautiful, sunny, and warm March day on Saturday, March 15th. I decided to take a break and take Ava for a walk down Webb State Park. I have taken you there before where we cooked marshmallows, bbq'd, and flew a kite. This is also the same spot where Kelly found the "heart" rock that I now keep with my on a shelf. Not sure if you recall going there in July 2010 with my church. I attached some pictures to remind you in case you forgot. The heart rock Kelly found is the bigger one standing up next to the believe sign.
Anyway, as always, when I am here, I think of you ... wishing you were with me ... enjoying the walk, weather, and water ... playing ball with Ava ... hiking the rocks ... looking for treasures or relics from the old Native American pastures ... or fossil hunting like we did in the past.
I collected some pretty cool shells and rocks in hopes to be able to give them to you some day. I also saw five heart rocks and two hearts in the clouds. I pray they are good signs that we will soon be reunited again. I can't even imagine how big you all have gotten and grown. It has been so long since I have seen you. I attached some pictures for you to see that I took on Saturday. The pictures are at the bottom of this letter as there are seven of them. Hope you think they are pretty cool as I did.
I love you and miss you. There is not a minute of the day I do not think of you wishing we were together and being a part of each others lives. It is hard to believe it has been almost three years since I have seen you.
I want to see you. I wish I could see you. Unfortunately, I am prohibited at this time from going to your school, call you outside our very limited Wednesday night phone calls, or have you over my house whether for a short visit or even a sleep over as has been always the case since you moved out from your family home on September 9, 2007.
I do not want you to grow up thinking there is anything you did wrong or that there is something wrong with you that I am not in your life. I do not want you to think that I have not tried to do everything in my ability to be a part of your lives. I have. Unfortunately, outside forces are deliberately keeping us apart and that saddens me. Me not being in your life is not in my control and that saddens me. If I had any say so, I would see you every day, volunteer at your school like I use to, make stuff, go on some adventures, teach you important perils of life, and do some fun things together.
Know I love you ... Never doubt that
Know I want to see you and be with you ... Never doubt that
All my love
Your Mother
xoxoxoxoxxo
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